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Dear Alyra:
I am a professionally bellydancer, but I also have
a big day job and a baby at home. Based on these constraints,
I'm wondering, do I always have to stay late with
the band to split the tips? I know most dancers wait,
but I can't if I've got to take care of my little
one and be functioning at work in the morning. What
should I do?
Signed,
Sleepy
Dear Sleepy
Well, that all depends on how bad you need those tips!
For those belly dancers who make a living off tips
and fees, there is one option; for those who make
pro dancing more of a creative outlet and a hobby,
there is another.
Your case being the latter, this is what I suggest
(and also what I do because I am in your shoes). Since
it sounds like the money for you is more a plus than
a necessity, you don't have to wait for the band to
wrap up, provided you make some pre-arrangements first.
Step one would be to investigate! Ask your good bellyfriends
for a reference. Who is this band that you're going
to be dancing with? What kind of people are they?
How late do they generally stay (call the restaurant
for an estimate, sometimes you never can tell)? Are
they considered ethical in the opinion of the belly
community at large? And also, if your friends don't
mind sharing, how much in tips (a range is fine) can
a dancer anticipate for a show at that venue/night/time?
All important points for the dancer to know whether
or not there are tips at stake.
If you get positive reviews then it's very reasonable
to work something out with the band and the venue.
What I do is call the lead of the band (generally
either known in the community or supplied by the restaurant/hall/whatever…)
and ask him/er if it would be alright if s/he would
please leave my half portion of the tips with the
restaurant owner. I let the lead know that I'll give
them an envelope with my name and contact on it and
all they have to do is slip it over to the manager
whose name will be on the envelope. "But,"
he/she might say, "How will you know if I'm being
fair?" The proper answer would be, "You
have a terrific reputation among the dancers and that
is really very hard won. So I'm comfortable trusting
to your discretion and honesty." I have never
had anyone say no.
Then, call the restaurant owner and ask s/he if it
would be alright if the band turned your tips over
to them for safekeeping and you'll come and get them
the next evening. Get the name of the person who is
going to be holding your tips and then go overboard
with thanks to the cooperative person who is going
to help you. Again, I have never had anyone say no.
Then, go early, and introduce yourself around. When
the band arrives, before they get distracted with
setting up, etc… introduce yourself, thank them
for allowing you to go home early and provide them
with the envelope. Make sure it's not see-through,
and on both sides write:
The name of the contact person at the restaurant,
who the envelope is supposed to go to,
(Please give this envelops to :)
Your name and contact,
(To be held for :)
And the date of the following day that you're going
to come and pick it up,
(Which will be picked up on :)
The rub is that you have to TRUST to the decency of
humanity (I know…I must be MAD!!!). Look, if
you're not going to wait, then you run the risk of
getting cheated, pure and simple. Most of the time
you won't be cheated, but sometimes you will, and
you'll usually know it, but that's the chance you
take.
You can find some solace in the unadulterated fact
that a cheat is a cheat, and s/he'll cheat you, most
likely, whether you're there or not. It's the folks
on the fence, the ones who are asking themselves,
"To cheat or not to cheat," who will be
affected by your presence and pushed toward the right
path of honesty under your steely gaze. For those
that are ethical, just like the cheaters, it is inherent
in them and they will be good and honest with you
regardless of your attendance on them at the end of
the night.
So, that's it. The next day, arrive when you've said
you're going to and pick up your tips. It's a bit
of leg work and organizing if this is the first time
you're dancing at the venue or with that particular
band, but becomes just business as usual when you're
a regular. Keep it straight and simple and people
will cooperate.
Allow me to wax nostalgic on my history here for some
other ideas. When I first started out dancing, I knew
in some circumstances this process above was asking
a lot of people and a bit of a pain. So, I would bring
just a little thank you something or other for the
people who were helping me. Something to remember
me by. I used to make these little (very little) magnets
for the fridge that had a vintage button (get those
for about a penny each in the salvation army store)
hot glue gunned on them, and I would give these to
the helpers with a business card and say, "Thanks
so much, here's just a little token…for the
fridge. Of course, you don't have to use it for my
card to put on the fridge…but if you wanted
to….(tee hee, joke, laugh, haha…)."
People are always thrilled with freebies, no matter
how cheap and believe me they remember. A little ass-kissy
you might say? Well, I take umbrage with that! We're
talking about building relationships and trust with
people who are going to handle money for you and that
is NEVER ass-kissy. What you're doing is giving someone
a little treat because they're helping YOU. It could
be a candy bar, a cup of Joe, anything. Trust me;
a little appreciation goes a long way. It makes you
stand out, too, as a classy and considerate person,
which is also good.
Now, just to be clear, this suggestion above is NOT
for the dancer who survives on dancing along. She
cannot risk losing a single cent to the unfairness
and thievery of others. If you're a professional dancer,
unless you have another higher paying gig right after
this one, then you plop you're gorgeous self in some
obscure corner, allow fans to adulate you and you
WAIT for the band to wrap it up, collect the money
and divvy it out.
I do hope this helps.
Blessings, Alyra
Comments
Naia
Amen, Alyra!
ayperi
Cheers to that! It is definitely our responsibility
to educate people. Never pass up the opportunity!
karimanadira
Go! Alyra!!! Yes!!! |
